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Life over 45 for me has been enlightening and incredible sometimes terrifying too.  I made a film The gun the cake and the butterfly which won 7 awards, became a Fashion Editor for Genlux Magazine, Traded in FX, written extensively and did a neon exhibition on my deadly sins and started interviewing people that are important to me.  If I can’t be happy, then nobody can be? I am healthy, reasonably slim, still wearing high heals my hair up and I can fit in most of my size 42 black dresses. Yes, I like being glamorous and active, admittedly thanks to the help of Snowden Hill, Dr Jean Louis Sebagh, Adie H, Trinny’s and Kat Von D’s make up range.
This week I had the great pleasure of going to the Venice Film Festival with the beautiful film producer and now Gucci model, Marina Cicogna.  I saw Films like the earthy realistic film about a housekeeper called ROMAThe Aspern Papersstarring Vanessa Redgrave, the Henry James novel beautifully shot and directed by Julien Landais. A passionate portrayal of A star is born starring Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper who were both brilliant; I sat next to the Valentino’s Creative Director  Pier Paolo Piccioli Who made the gorgeous pink feather dress for Lady G at the premiere.  I then bumped into my friend Martha Fiennes and her brother musician Magnus Fiennes at the Bauer Hotel who was about to show Yugen at the Museum Grassi her latest moving image.

Summer has flown.  I visited Austria and saw a production of Salome in Salzburg, Mexico for Liberatum Culture, Paris, Ischia Film Festival,  went to Elton Johns Party, Glyndebourne twice and sae my son in several performances as Miss Evie Lake. I also had  stylist George Blodwell to stay, “Red Carpet George” as I like to call him, he is about to hit the big time and hopefully star in a reality show here in the UK. He is over 60, so there is always hope.
The year has zoomed. I wonder what is happening in the world when the reigning President of America was over our House of Commons in the shape of a balloon and two months later our Mayor of London Sadiq Khan who authorised this, was turned into another balloon wearing a yellow bikini that he plans to ban on London buses? Humour gets us through life, but there is an underlying nastiness that prevails along with jealousy that we humans need to think through.
When ten friends of mine commit suicide, it makes me think.  Are they all drug related?  Plenty of people survive as I have shown above and managed life.  So with this in mind, I am busy thinking. Goodbye dear Lucy Ferry who I shared a dark room with in about 1998, I still have her beautiful image of a woman wearing a corset and great memory of her laughing with our mutual friend, the late Isabella Blow. I am wondering why some can’t cope with life or getting older. What is depression? For me, I have had this since I first realised I was on the planet. I never took pills? Is it the pills? Heaven knows. It is a severe illness most definitely. I find if I keep myself swamped it dissipates. A bit manic of course, but hell bells I open my eyes, and I try to make my life look as shiny as possible.